Change...

I like words. I like to understand their meanings. I like to know how they came to be defined and how they interact with each other. I like how they form on our tongues. I like how we can take one and have it mean several different things. I like how we give them charge. I like how they allow us to communicate.



One of the most interesting words to me, is the word "change". A single syllable word, that in it's simplest of definitions, Merriam Webster defines it as follows: : to become different: to make (someone or something) different: to become something else



It's a powerful word, we've given it great charge.



"Change", is inevitable - it's the one thing in life that's constant. We can't escape it, because even with great amounts of effort and planning, we can never foresee the force with which it will come. It's a funny thing, change. It's a beginning, never an end. It's filled with both hope and fear.



Tonight, I was talking with a friend that has come to a sort of cross-roads in her life; either she makes a change, or she's destined to remain in a hurtful, unhealthy existence. She has reached the decision to change, through a series of hurts and losses. One loss in particular - that's not definite-but seems to resonate the most, is a chance at love. It's also a chance at losing love, if she doesn't change.



Along the same lines, I recently lost a love. Someone whom I continue to love and whom I thought loved me. However, given the circumstances of our demise, I don't know if he does, or if he ever did for that matter. Our end was a catalyst for change in my life though. It's prompted self-reflection and a shift in focus and priorities. It's prompted new beginnings, which I suppose is a good thing.



I told her that it was. I continue to tell myself that it is. I've decided that I'm convinced of it.



As I sit here and write, I wonder if "change", which by definition means " to become something else", "to make (someone or something) different", is genuine. So, of course I look up the word "genuine". Which Merriam Webster defines as follows:



1.a :actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character b:actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author c:sincerely and honestly felt or experienced d:actual,true 2.:free from hypocrisy or pretense : sincere



I honed in on these definitions "sincerely and honestly felt or experienced" and "free from hypocrisy or pretense: sincere". This leads me to preclude, like many others, that "change" is only genuine and sustaining, when you embark upon it for yourself. There has to be a personal meaning and substance and purpose behind it.

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I'm sleepy now. Perhaps I'll continue my thoughts on this tomorrow.



Really, I just wanted to get out some thoughts and re-awaken this blog...yet again. Oh well, it's okay. Perhaps, if I keep breathing life into it, it will eventually sustain itself.